Femme is defiance. Femme ignores the male gaze & tells patriarchy to fuck off. Femme is a refusal of the pressure to be thinner, whiter, pimple-free, wrinkle-free, smaller, quieter. Femme says that we’ll take the short skirts but you can keep the catcalls to yourself. ”
BOSSY FEMME (via clairebearstare)
Holy fuck, Claire’s excerpt of my post has HOW many notes?
(Source: claire-adactyl, via fuckyeahwomenprotesting)
The Male Gaze and other annoying issues..again.
I just can’t understand what makes someone compelled to scream at a woman walking down the street. Clearly, nothing has ever happened as a result of cat calling. I’m almost positive no woman thought “Omg, he said i was sexy…. I’m gonna have sex with that random man in a car.” No. This never happened. So men, stop wasting your time. Keep your fucking thoughts to yourself because one day, I will punch you in the face. Yes. I have breasts. This does not mean you should almost break your neck staring at them. Holy shit, its kinda sad that you’re so empty, that body parts are so entracing to you. Now, I’m attracted to all kinds of people as well. But, I’m able of controlling my “urges” so I don’t look like a moron with pieces of my brain missing. The thing that bothers me is that never do they ever imagine the lives these women have. In my personal experience, I am walking to the bus at 8am to go to class. It seems obvious to me, that I don’t want to be bothered by gross men. I have other things to deal with. Is it so hard to believe that I’m a human with a life? I am NOT a pair of tits for you to jerk off to (unless I tell you to). I don’t want to question their intelligence because I am aware of the larger cause of this issue. But its also hard to sympathize with men who are eyeing me to the point where I become scared. Its a matter of being capable of being attracted to someone and not making them feel anxious because of it. Of course, I am making lots of generalizations. *Not all men are like this.* Another issue I have is the inability to connect sexual attraction and some level of respect for a person. You can be sexually attracted to someone, think about them sexually and still respect that they have feelings. It’s getting absurd to believe some girls are just ‘sluts’ and some are girlfriends. Stop this right now. That “slut” you’re talking about, maybe wants a guy to respect her and love her but no man has ever given her the chance. Also, you can be someone’s girlfriend or wife and want to be treated like a “slut”. This is possible. I can be two things at once. A respected person and a sexual person. Hard to believe huh? Well, its true. This also goes back to the whole cat calling thing. RESPECT the fact that I’m trying to live my life. I do not care about you nor your penis. Think whatever you want, but don’t ever believe its okay to scream those thoughts at me. I wish there was some way to reteach men. I want them to know this is wrong, and also understand it must change. There are men who do comprehend the issue and strive not to act this way. But then again, as I experienced this morning, there are a lot who don’t. I sat on the bus, feeling uncomfortable because this one guy wouldn’t look away. I should have told him to stop. Next time, I fucking will make sure he knows to stop.
This pattern — women can dress like men, but men don’t dress like women — suggests that there is, in fact, something demeaning, ridiculous, or subordinating about presenting oneself to the male gaze. Most men feel stupid, gross, or vulnerable when they do it. This isn’t just about conformity to different gendered expectations. If it were just about difference women would feel equally weird dressing in men’s clothes. Instead, when women adopt masculine ways of dressing and moving, they often feel empowered.
So, when men do femininity they feel ridiculous and when women do masculinity they feel awesome. This is what gender inequality looks like.
via Sociological Images (via ellielamothe)
(Source: aminamithri, via feministquotes)
Female RWU students respond to an op-ed about the ‘social effects’ of yoga pants
I think this would definitely be worth your time to look at. “Social effects” being a euphemism for behaviors perceived to be opposed to traditional conservative sensibilities.
The original opinion piece:
The female studens’ response:
That is ridiculous… yoga pants and leggings all the time and its NOT even that serious. I can garuntee no one can see my VAGINA when I wear yoga PANTS this ignorant asshole is just trying to get a pass for staring at people’s vaginas…
My favorite line of his:
Yoga pants make butts look good, and I can’t truly blame you yoga-pant wearers for wanting to flaunt. Part of me is, at heart, a yoga pants fan.
But the rest of me stubbornly objects. I can’t help but feel that women who wear yoga pants have a false modesty that says, “I want to show off my body, but I am too embarrassed to be overtly sexual, so I will just wear skin-tight, curve-revealing clothing to satisfy my exhibitionist desires in socially acceptable means.”
I get the sense that women wear yoga pants to feel sexy without getting judged as a slut, yet I see something demeaning in women wearing yoga pants and parading around their half-silhouetted vaginas all day.
That’s funny, because I get the sense that this is a thinly veild “I was staring at someone’s body who happened to be wearing Yoga pants and i’m angry that their body turned me on but i’m not ENTITLED to have sex with you on demand. How dare you wear comfortable clothing that turns me on but then you wont allow me to actually treat you like a sex object. ITS NOT FAIR, if you’re not going to sleep with me you’re NOT allowed to wear something that I find attractive!” And then he argues that it affects social culture? umm obviously the culture is fine because everyone fucking wears Yoga pants/leggings - your perverted ass is just hot and bothered and wants to make a big fucking deal about it.
NOT BUYING IT. College dudes have the most disgusting case of sexual entitlement I’ve ever fucking seen. And college publications have the most ridiculous wanna-be controversial opinion pieces written in them JUST for fucks sake.
and the response was great - an exerpt:
It’s not about yoga pants. It’s about the implications you, the author, don’t even know you made. Even something as simple as the construction of your article is offensive. You begin with the notion that Roger Williams University has less than rigorous academics. You then cite a specific example of a woman who you believe embodies that notion. Finally, you make an assumption about how these women, who are apparently dumb and get easy grades, think and feel. You imply that we should dress differently because it’s in your best interest. You tell us that we “don’t know how to express our sexuality” and you criticize us for the fact that your own eyes wander. Here’s a thought: Maybe women don’t dress the way they do to please men. Maybe they do it to feel comfortable, or sexy, or pretty. But, we are not going to make that assumption because we don’t know why individual women dress the way they do and neither do you.
in a slightly related note: I’ve recently decided to stop buying jeans altogether and ONLY buy leggings/yoga pants. Shits cheaper, more comfortable, and don’t tear when my thighs rub together :| #thickgirlproblems
Female toplessness is legal in a lot of places in the US (although not where I live), and I’d be meeting the letter of the law with a couple of Band-aids. But I have a gut feeling that if I go anywhere that there are people—and particularly anywhere there are children—nobody’s going to be too happy about my Band-aids. The enforcement is social; women just don’t go around topless in the US.
It bothers me because it’s unequal, but it also bothers me in its implications: that my body is inherently sexual, and a man’s body isn’t. It feels like men are being viewed through the first-person lens of “it’s nice to feel the sun on my skin, and I don’t mean anything by it” and women are being viewed through the distinctly third-person lens of “it’s inappropriate for me, a heterosexual man, to see her sexy parts.” It ignores the experiences of people who are turned on by male chests and somehow manage to contain themselves when they see one. ”
The Pervocracy: My boobs want to be free. (via sexisnottheenemy)
[yes, but not all women or female-identified folks have breasts/not all people with breasts are women or female-identified]
(via hickiesandhotpants) This^^ (via guerrillarachel)
Disney’s Guide for Men on How to Get Girls
In Feminism & pop culture, Andi Zeisler goes over both the Male Gaze as well as the female gaze. Whereas the more well known “Male Gaze” discusses the fact that women depicted in the media are usually structured in ways meant for male sexual consumption, there is also a unique way in which men are structured for female construction. While one would argue that women are seen as sexual object, men viewed through the construction of the female gaze are meant to be idolized for their good looks and charm. Take for instance, the cult following of male pop bangs, singing groups, Justin Bieber, even Chris Brown (who women will still die to stand on the same stage with after his public controversy and abuse allegations with Rihanna.) And don’t forget Seventeen Magazine & Cosmo who have consisten panels of “cute boys giving advice” because young teens are supposed to take their advice seriously based solely on the fact that their cute guy - and being a cute guy means their opinion about your life is important.
And the last cherry on the top of this cake is the disney rolemodels. Which I doubt is necessarily a guide for men - because the disney princess series is targeted towards young girls. If anything its a constant reminder to young girls these are the men who you need to spend your life pleasing and impressing boys who are cute.
Sidenote: People aren’t good people simply because they’re “good looking” or good at acting, or can sing.
Both men and women…knew exactly how to respond to female nudes: women had internalized their object status and men had internalized their subject status.
Interestingly, both men and women felt uncomfortable looking at male nudes.
Men responded by either expressing extreme disinterest, re-asserting their heterosexuality, or both. They did not compare themselves to the male nudes (like women did with female nudes), except to say that they were both male and, therefore, there was “nothing to see.” Meanwhile, because men have been trained to be a lustful sexual subject, seeing male nudity tended to raise the specter of homosexuality. They couldn’t see the bodies as anything but sexual objects for them to gaze upon.
In contrast, the specter of homosexuality didn’t arise for women because they weren’t used to being positioned as lustful. Eck explains:
“When women view the seductive pose of the female nude, they do not believe she is ‘coming on to’ them. They know she is there to arouse men. Thus, they do not have to work at rejecting an unwanted advance. It is not for them.”
Awesome explanation and a realization that took me years to understand and overcome the indoctrination that had me that way. I am still far less likely to enjoy or appreciate male nudeness, but i have reached the point that i can without feelings of shame and defensiveness/reassertion of my het-ness and I can casually observe to make the distinction of self comparison and appreciate the beauty of a male body and the art containing such. I could also give two fucks what anyone thinks of my viewing, appreciating and reactions to said male nakedness.