Okay, this is actually what you do if you’re being sexually harassed in any kind of public space. Draw attention to it, preferably pull away and let EVERYONE know that someone is touching you. This will not only get him to get off you but he’ll definitely think about this situation next time he wants to do something like this.
Spreading the word.
My mom and I were talking about this today after hearing about a woman who was molested on a plane who said nothing until she was picked up at the airport by her parents. My mom looked at me and asked what I would do in that situation and I looked her dead in the eye and I told her “it would take me .02 seconds to realize what was going on and yell angrily, and then I would be straight on to bitch slapping him so hard he wouldn’t be able to see the punch I’d throw with the opposite hand”.
She nodded and accepted my salty language like a seasoned sailor.
I’ve had experience with this before, in Prague a group of five girls and I were followed by three men at night. After a while they started yelling at us, the most common being “how much?” Meaning how much we “cost” as prostitutes. Seeing as they weren’t going to stop, I turned on my heel, faced them (which surprised them), spat at their feet and responded with “You couldn’t afford me.” This prompted the other girls to start yelling back at them as well, starting with our spitfire Czech friend to start slinging curses in Czech as she and the rest of the girls came up beside me. Needless to say the men backed off and pretty much fled. They weren’t expecting a fight. It empowered me and encouraged the rest of the girls to yell back too.
I’ve heard that a lot of people don’t know what to do in this situation because they’ve been taught all their lives to be polite and non-aggressive. Keep your heads down or whatever.
Keep in mind that studies have shown that rapists look for victims who won’t fight back.
Remember that nobody has the right to touch you without your consent or harass you, and you have all the right to make the biggest fuss about it that you can possibly make.
Get angry. Be in command.
If someone is doing something that makes you uncomfortable like this, you do not need to be nice. Swear, kick, scream, make the asshole cry. You don’t have to nice, be as rude as you want
… and remember that not everybody feels safe making noise or calling attention to the situation, and there is no shame in not doing so, and just because you didn’t yell and scream and make a scene, doesn’t mean you consented or that you wanted it or that you deserved it.
Street harassment, illustrated.
Dudes: it is NOT a complement. Unwanted and unasked-for attention is actually kind of threatening. YOU may not turn violent if we fail to respond to your catcalling, or fail to respond positively… but 1) WE don’t know that. 2) We may not be as lucky with the next guy.
I got hit on and chatted up by a guy while waiting for a bus at 1am on a less-than-lit street corner in the city ages back. He was probably a foot taller than me, and even though I’m not a tiny girl, he was big enough he could have tossed me over his shoulder, and I’d have been in trouble. I am sure this guy meant nothing by it. He may even have truly wanted to date me. And I was still fucking terrified.
What do you think street harassment is about? Sex? Benign flattery? Attraction? Women who can’t just suck it up and deal?
It’s power. Catcalls, sexist comments, public masturbation, groping, stalking and assault: gender-based street harassment makes public places unfriendly, frightening and dangerous for many girls, women, and LGBQT people.
It’s power to control public spaces. Power to alter paths. Power to shame, scare and intimidate. Power to define what is safe and what is not. It’s the power to say: “I’m entitled to touch you, comment on your body, coerce you to smile, control your movement.” Even when women perceive catcalls as flattering, they are nonetheless aware that it’s an unpredictable degree away from possible harm. ”
International Anti-Street Harassment Week: 10 Things You Can Do To Stop Street Harassment (via wewantrevolutiongirlstylenow)
(Source: tooyoungforthelivingdead, via pipeschapman)
This is a good idea.
I think it needs to be clearer, though, that this initiative isn’t about “hollaback” and it isn’t advocating confronting harassment head-on. I wouldn’t want anyone to think—as i initially assumed—that this project is based around pressuring women into confronting those who harass them (i.e. pressuring women into putting themselves in an even more dangerous position). It’s not. It’s about raising awareness and using a variety of community-based methods to achieve goals. You can find out more here or by clicking through on the photo.
Just because I move through a public space does not mean that MY BODY is a public space.
(Source: sinhemingway, via sluteverxxx)
The Male Gaze and other annoying issues..again.
I just can’t understand what makes someone compelled to scream at a woman walking down the street. Clearly, nothing has ever happened as a result of cat calling. I’m almost positive no woman thought “Omg, he said i was sexy…. I’m gonna have sex with that random man in a car.” No. This never happened. So men, stop wasting your time. Keep your fucking thoughts to yourself because one day, I will punch you in the face. Yes. I have breasts. This does not mean you should almost break your neck staring at them. Holy shit, its kinda sad that you’re so empty, that body parts are so entracing to you. Now, I’m attracted to all kinds of people as well. But, I’m able of controlling my “urges” so I don’t look like a moron with pieces of my brain missing. The thing that bothers me is that never do they ever imagine the lives these women have. In my personal experience, I am walking to the bus at 8am to go to class. It seems obvious to me, that I don’t want to be bothered by gross men. I have other things to deal with. Is it so hard to believe that I’m a human with a life? I am NOT a pair of tits for you to jerk off to (unless I tell you to). I don’t want to question their intelligence because I am aware of the larger cause of this issue. But its also hard to sympathize with men who are eyeing me to the point where I become scared. Its a matter of being capable of being attracted to someone and not making them feel anxious because of it. Of course, I am making lots of generalizations. *Not all men are like this.* Another issue I have is the inability to connect sexual attraction and some level of respect for a person. You can be sexually attracted to someone, think about them sexually and still respect that they have feelings. It’s getting absurd to believe some girls are just ‘sluts’ and some are girlfriends. Stop this right now. That “slut” you’re talking about, maybe wants a guy to respect her and love her but no man has ever given her the chance. Also, you can be someone’s girlfriend or wife and want to be treated like a “slut”. This is possible. I can be two things at once. A respected person and a sexual person. Hard to believe huh? Well, its true. This also goes back to the whole cat calling thing. RESPECT the fact that I’m trying to live my life. I do not care about you nor your penis. Think whatever you want, but don’t ever believe its okay to scream those thoughts at me. I wish there was some way to reteach men. I want them to know this is wrong, and also understand it must change. There are men who do comprehend the issue and strive not to act this way. But then again, as I experienced this morning, there are a lot who don’t. I sat on the bus, feeling uncomfortable because this one guy wouldn’t look away. I should have told him to stop. Next time, I fucking will make sure he knows to stop.
In societies across the world, women are still openly harassed on the streets and in other public spaces. Leering, lecherous ogling. Harassment in the work place. Unsolicited physical, or non-physical sexual contact.
The world is watching. Join the movement and stop street harassment.
Like most women, I currently live in a society where violence, harassment and scary shit can break out at any moment, just because I told some random asshole “no” without bothering to be nice about it. Doing that is so dangerous that most women don’t dare; after a few scary incidents, they learn to make up excuses, to smile, to be sweet and welcoming, to act as if every single random asshole on the street is a precious new friend that they would just LOVE to stand outside of the Chipotle and chat with FOR HOURS, if only cruel fate had not intervened. That’s what it’s actually like, being a woman: Playing nice with every random asshole, because this random asshole might be the one who hurts you. And then, if he hurts you anyway, they’ll tell you that you led him on. ”
Tiger Beatdown (via pnasty)
this this this this this this this FOREVER
(Source: nimfeach, via peacepunx)
I was 12, and this car pulled up alongside me as I was walking home from school … the driver looked a little older than my dad, at least 40. He leaned out, and I thought he was going to ask me for directions, but instead he asked me how old I was. When I told him, he laughed. ‘Damn, you got some big titties for such a little girl.’ He made this gross smacking sound with his lips, and sped away. I ran all the way home. ”
What young women are really looking for from older men — Hugo Schwyzer — The Good Men Project
This is my whole life after age 9. It is not funny or fun or cute. It doesn’t make you feel special or wanted or desired. It scares and confuses you and men need to stop.
I was maybe 10 when it started & I still remember feeling so ashamed & scared. It’s a disgusting thing to do in general, & a terrible thing to do to children. Sure, it’s technically not a crime, but it should be.
Yeah, I was 10 when the creeps started…
When I was growing up, anyone asking “how old are you” set off a red flag.
and it happened way too much
“I shouldn’t have to have a strategy for preserving my personal space.”