10 Reasons Why The Addams Family Is Awesome(ly Feminist)
1. Anjelica Huston was 40 when she played Morticia. Considering that it’s very hard for women over 40 (who aren’t A-listers) to get lead parts, that’s already a milestone. But she’s also sexy. Incredibly sexy. Yes, she’s playing the mother of a pair of preteens, but she appears immaculately (and eerily) beautiful in every scene she’s in. How often do we see a mother character who is genuinely sexy?
2. Morticia and Gomez Addams are famously in love with each other. What set the 1960s series apart from all other sitcoms was that this was a married couple who were crazy about each other, instead of fighting. In the film, this tradition of their great love affair continues. There are no mother-in-law jokes, both take responsibility in raising the children, and have a very healthy sex life. So many stories have the love story end at marriage, or have the couple grow to loathe each other over time. Just think of it - a loving marriage was groundbreaking.
3. Addams Family Values explicitly challenges conformist WASPs at the Summer Camp that Wednesday and Pugsley stay at. The siblings absolutely refuse to compromise themselves and pretend to be happy or to enjoy sickeningly sappy things (like Annie the musical). The camp counsellors show favouritism to the traditionally attractive blonde white rich kids, and it’s made quite obvious how hateful and hypocritical they really are. At the end of the movie, Wednesday and the other “outcasts” deliberately sabotage the counsellors’ tremendously racist Thanksgiving play by symbolically enacting revenge for the genocide that Native Americans suffered at the hands of white people.
4. Despite the Addamses having two children of each sex (at least in the first film), it is the girl that gets the good parts. That doesn’t happen very often at all - other examples of media that has two siblings of each sex almost always emphasizes the brother. Christina Ricci’s sarcastic and deadpan portrayal of Wednesday is one of the highlights of an already perfectly cast set of films. It contrasts sharply with the cheerful Wednesday from the TV version, but I can’t be the only one longing for more sardonic brunette girls in family movies…who aren’t the villains.
5. The climax of The Addams Family seemingly has a damsel-in-distress situation…except that it’s been turned on its head. Morticia…enjoys…being tied up and tortured. Yep kiddies, here’s your first introduction to bondage and BDSM! It’s played for laughs of course, as it always is, but notice that when Gomez and Morticia discuss her predicament, it’s with absolute passion. Their kinkiness is just another aspect of their already healthy sex life. And in the end, the damsel-in-distress isn’t really in distress at all! Sure, she needed to be untied, but Morticia was definitely not in any danger.
Group Loving: Types of Polyamory
It is common for people learning about multiple partner relationships to get confused between different types. In my experience, people particularly tend to mix up the terms polyamory and polygamy. So, for your personal knowledge, here is a list of defintions of polyamory-related terms:
- Polyamory - umbrella term for anyone who is open to having more than one intimate relationship at a time, with the knowledge and consent of all partners involved. Also referred to as ethical or consensual non-monogamy.
- Polygamy - when one person marries several spouses. It is polygyny if it’s a man with multiple wives, and polyandry if it’s a woman with multiple husbands.
- Open relationships - each member of a couple or core group of partners has consent from the other partner(s) to pursue intimacy outside of that person or group.
- Swinging - typically defined as having casual sex outside of a main relationship; however the definition can vary slightly depending on who you talk to.
- Group relationships - a group of more than two people consider themselves to be in a relationship with one another. Sometimes specific words such as “triad” or “quad” are used to describe these relationships, depending on the number of people involved.
- Mono/poly relationships - One person in a couple chooses to be monogamous, while the other person chooses to be polyamorous (with the consent of the monogamous partner).
Of course, not every polyamorous relationship falls into one of these categories - there are a million ways to have multiple partners! For anyone interested in polyamory, it’s important to keep these important tips in mind:
- Always use a form of barrier protection with a new partner at least until they and all their current partners have undergone comprehensive STI testing. Statistically, the more people a person has sex with, the more likely they are to be infected with an STI if they are not careful.
- Make sure to communicate well with all partners. Jealousy can arise easily without proper communication, and has the potential to destroy a relationship - monogamous or polyamorous.
- Building on communication, it’s also important to set boundaries with all partners, to make sure no one feels uncomfortable.
- As always, make sure you are careful when meeting new people - particularly because of the way polyamory is viewed by some people. Many people ignorant of the facts may think someone who is polyamorous is “slutty” or “easy” and see it as an excuse to take advantage of a person. It’s important to keep one’s guard up; on the other hand, fear of judgement shouldn’t keep someone from meeting new potential partners!
Due to society’s negative view of polyamory, there are some obstacles that polyamorous people must overcome. First, it is illegal in many countries to marry more than one spouse. Secondly, an “out” polyamorous person might run into trouble getting hired if the potential employer found out. Custody cases in court also present a problem for polyamorous parents, because judges might use knowledge of their polyamory to declare them unfit for custody.
Personally, though I have not chosen to be polyamorous, I see it as a potentially positive relationship type. Many people choose not to be monogamous, but keep it from their partners, which could ultimately hurt those partners’ feelings. In polyamory, on the other hand, no one keeps their relationships from any partners, fostering sufficient communication and trust. The addition of those two factors to multiple-partner relationships ensure the comfort and happiness of everyone involved.
Disclaimer: I am not polyamorous, I am merely writing what I know about the subject from research and from polyamorous friends. If you have anything to add, feel free to contact me and I will update my info!
For some great sex education links, please visit my Link Love page!
Low cost birth control options
Someone asked us:
Q. I’m going to start college in the fall, and while I don’t plan to be sexually active for some time, I’d like to go on birth control. My menstrual cramps are really bad and I’ve heard that birth control can alleviate this. However, my parents are strongly opposed to letting me get birth control, especially on their insurance. What are some low cost options I could use?
It’s true! Hormonal birth control methods can help with all sorts of menstrual-related mischief like irregular, painful, or heavy periods, acne, anemia, infections, and even cancer. In fact, lots of people use birth control even if they aren’t currently sexually active to help with this stuff. Your parents might not know this, so try sending them over to plannedparenthood.org for a little education.
And on the other part of your question, I totally get it: Talking with your parents about birth control isn’t always easy. But you might be surprised. You’re regularly dealing with cramping and other uncomfortable menstrual symptoms. You’re suffering and using birth control could help. Regardless of their opinions about sex, chances are your parents don’t want to see you suffer. Explaining what you’re going through might help them understand why you want to get a prescription for birth control.
Of course there’s no guarantee that they’ll be open to it, and depending upon your situation, you might decide it’s best to avoid the conversation entirely. In general, you don’t need your parents’ permission to get prescription birth control like the pill. If you’re 18 years old or older, you definitely don’t need parental permission.
As for costs, Planned Parenthood works to make health care accessible and affordable for everyone, so some health centers are able to charge according to income. Most Planned Parenthood health centers accept health insurance, and if you qualify, Medicaid or other state programs could help lower the cost of birth control for you. The staff at your local health center can talk with you about costs and payment for your specific situation.
-Nathan at PPFA
It’s like a Fun Dip for safer sex! Condoms and lube in the same package so you can’t lose anything.
Oh my god! Such a cool concept. The center needs these.
Before a woman can experience orgasm, her body goes through a sexual response cycle. During that cycle, a woman gets aroused, blood pools in her genitals and breasts, there is increased muscle tension, vaginal lubrication and expansion of the vagina. And that’s not all: the labia spread and her breasts and clitoris swell. As the cycle continues, women develop a “sex flush” (a reddish blush over the breasts and genital area) and the labia spread even further … basically the labia are saying “I’m ready!” Now, that’s great, but most of us have intercourse before we get to that point. And you know what your body is saying then? “Wait - a little more foreplay, please! Soon … just not yet.” But if we are not voicing that to our partners, we’re not maximizing our sexual pleasure. Foreplay isn’t just something that we like; foreplay is something that we need. ”
- Dr. Logan Levkoff, Ph.D. via Kirsteen A Farley (via theladycheeky)
ACK I commented on this about how it needed to be genderneutral but tumblr erased it.
Not all people with this anatomy identify as women.
Way back in the 1970s, Marvel Comics teamed up with Planned Parenthood on a comic book that pitted Spiderman against a villain who was out to give teens the wrong information about sex. And we all know there’s nothing that Spiderman hates more than the spread of medically inaccurate information!
Check it out: http://andrewfarago.livejournal.com/16145.html?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=post&utm_content=spiderman&utm_campaign=healthfb
What can I use to masturbate with instead of a vibrator?
Want a vibrator? But don’t want, y’know, a vibrator?
Here are some other things you could try… some will probably be more powerful than others! if you’ve tried ‘em before, tell me if they worked or not! Leave a reply or get in my ask…
1) The humble back massager…
2) An electric toothbrush. Sometimes you can take the head off to reveal just a vibrating metal strip. Otherwise, you probably wanna use the back not the bristles!
3) Because when I think of shaving, I definitely want a razor that vibrates? Anyway, you can take the razory bit off to reveal the vibrating tip.
4) Oh look, a vibrator you can clean your face with! Thanks Neutrogena.
5) At a Walgreens or whatever? They have these hidden among the condoms…
6) And even these…
7) Or you could even try taking yourself for a spin cycle…
8) Or get a buzz out of those toy pens…
OK, that’s about everything I could think of! Have fun experimenting ;)
Just make sure that whatever you use is clean and if it’s not an authentic vibrator you either put a condom on it or use non microwavable saran wrap. It’s not ideal but it will make it safer.
Women owning their sexual pleasure veers dangerously close to women wanting to own their bodies. And we can’t have that! The more sexual agency you possess, the less of an object you become. That’s threatening to a lot of people. ”
On Slut Shaming (via fuckititsfriday)