(Source: feministcampus, via fuckyeahfeminists)
433
“Recently, when the novelist Mary Gordon spoke at a boys’ school, she learned that the students weren’t reading the Brontës, Austen or Woolf. Their teachers defended this by saying they were looking for works that boys could relate to. But at the girls’ school across the street, Gordon said, “no one would have dreamed of removing ‘Huckleberry Finn’ or ‘Moby-Dick’ from the syllabus. As a woman writer, you get points if you include the ‘male’ world in your work, and you lose points if you omit it.””
This is from an interesting piece published in this weekends New York Times about how the output of fiction by women is only ever acknowledged as just that; ‘women’s fiction’. Sticking with the theme of the above quote, one of the most obvious examples author, Meg Wolitzer, doesn’t mention is Harry Potter author J.K Rowling’s insistence at using her initials rather than her actual name because she didn’t think boys would read her books. Devastating but clearly true. Maybe I’m resentful because I was forced to read Of Mice and Men at school (unchallenging and dull) simply because, as my English teacher put it, ‘the boys really react well to this one’. I’m all for boys reading, I’m for everybody reading, but if this attitude isn’t challenged at the age where your reading preferences are shaped and influenced then the ‘women’s fiction’ shelf at your local bookshop is going nowhere.
Boys are absolutely catered to in English studies and in high schools in regards to reading material and selection. FUCK THAT. Ugh don’t get me started, I can write a whole thesis about this but it absolutely isn’t right at all. They are hardly forced to read female authors featuring female protagonists (and CERTAINLY not women of color) despite the trend of Twilight and then The Hunger Games in recent years…so yes, boys actually DO read this stuff despite an outdated teaching model.
46“
over a 20-year period, asking some 2,000 men in college questions like this: “Have you ever had sexual intercourse with someone, even though they did not want to, because they were too intoxicated [on alcohol or drugs] to resist your sexual advances?”, or “Have you ever had sexual intercourse with an adult when they didn’t want to because you used physical force [twisting their arm, holding them down, etc.] if they didn’t cooperate?”
About 1 in 16 men answered “yes” to these or similar questions.
”1 in sixteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen are you kidding me
if we got 1 in 16 motherfuckers admitting to raping women on college campuses and are “very forthcoming. In fact, they are eager to talk about their experience”, you better fucking believe tossing out your short skirt and staying in at night isn’t going to keep you safe.
(via grrl-meat)
Even worse:
In a survey of 11-14 year-old boys…
- 51% believed that “forced sex” is acceptable if a boy spends a lot of money on a girl
- 31% believed that it would be okay to rape someone with past sexual experience
- 65% believed that sexual assault is okay if dating for more than 6 months
- 87% believed that sexual assault is okay if the perpetrator and victim are married
…aaand in a survey of college males…
- 1 in 12 admitted to committing rape (under the legal definition)
- 35% admitted that they would commit rape under circumstances if they could get away with it
…and in another…
- 43% of college-aged men admitted to using “coercive behavior” such as ignoring a woman’s nonconsent and using physical aggression
(via wretchedoftheearth)
really? how does this not make me even more scared? fuck
(via strugglingtobeheard)
reblogging for commentary
(via ethiopienne)
(Source: NPR, via newwavefeminism)
6401the best birth control in the world is for men
273The Best Birth Control in the World is for Men!The Best Birth Control In The World Is For Men
The procedure called RISUG in India (reversible inhibition of sperm under guidance) takes about 15 minutes with a doctor, is effective after about three days, and lasts for 10 or more years. A doctor applies some local anesthetic, makes a small pinhole in the base of the scrotum, reaches in with a pair of very thin forceps, and pulls out the small white vas deferens tube. Then, the doctor injects the polymer gel (called Vasalgel here in the US), pushes the vas deferens back inside, repeats the process for the other vas deferens, puts a Band-Aid over the small hole, and the man is on his way. If this all sounds incredibly simple and inexpensive, that’s because it is. The chemicals themselves cost less than the syringe used to administer them. But the science of what happens next is the really fascinating part.
The two common chemicals — styrene maleic anhydride and dimethyl sulfoxide — form a polymer that thickens over the next 72 hours, much like a pliable epoxy, but the purpose of these chemicals isn’t to harden and block the vas deferens. Instead, the polymer lines the wall of the vas deferens and allows sperm to flow freely down the middle (this prevents any pressure buildup), and because of the polymer’s pattern of negative/positive polarization, the sperm are torn apart through the polyelectrolytic effect. On a molecular level, it’s what supervillains envision will happen when they stick the good guy between two huge magnets and flip the switch.
With one little injection, this non-toxic jelly will sit there for 10+ years without you having to do anything else to not have babies. Set it and forget it. Oh, and when you do decide you want those babies, it only takes one other injection of water and baking soda to flush out the gel, and within two to three months, you’ve got all your healthy sperm again.
FYSE: I posted about this yesterday, but I’ll post it again. Of course this is years from being FDA approved and put on the market but it’s very cool
This movie was one of absolute favorites during high school. The book is an incredible experience, too.
(via thefemcritique)
“ There are the occasions that men—intellectual men, clever men, engaged men—insist on playing devil’s advocate, desirous of a debate on some aspect of feminist theory or reproductive rights or some other subject generally filed under the heading: Women’s Issues. These intellectual, clever, engaged men want to endlessly probe my argument for weaknesses, want to wrestle over details, want to argue just for fun—and they wonder, these intellectual, clever, engaged men, why my voice keeps raising and why my face is flushed and why, after an hour of fighting my corner, hot tears burn the corners of my eyes. Why do you have to take this stuff so personally? ask the intellectual, clever, and engaged men, who have never considered that the content of the abstract exercise that’s so much fun for them is the stuff of my life. ”
Melissa McEwan, of course, on the terrible bargain. (via albinwonderland)
(Source: sanitywatchers, via youdontlooklikeafeminist)
8031Shit Men Say to Men Who Say Shit to Women on the Street
Can we get more of this, men?
Courtesy of Anti Harassment and Meet Us On The Street.
If I were one of these dudes in the video, I would show this to anyone I was trying to get with. Nothing sexier than feminist men!
“ dear men: when you are using public transit please close your fucking legs. i do no want to nor should i have to in anyway feel your body against mine. your spread eagle legs should not be pushing against my legs, forcing them together. if men insist on taking up three fucking seats they should have to pay three fucking fares.
i’ve honestly had enough of this shit. this isn’t a trivial issue. this is a big fucking deal. it is an issue of male privilege and space. women are not even allowed to take up enough space to take up our own fucking chair without disgusting fucking male limbs pushing into our personal space. i am fucking sick of this shit. dude, your balls aren’t that big. your legs aren’t gonna squeeze em together. ahhhhhhh just move your fucking legs. i hate you. ”
- Casey Jean.
so true.
get the fuck out of my space, little boy, before i punch you in the face.
CLOSE YOUR FUCKING LEGS.
(via shrinkingviolent)
I always take up as much space as I can on public transport, without being downright rude. Especially when a guy sits down next to me trying to take up my space, I just push him back. I’m using this fucking armrest; my legs are spread enough that you can’t put yours into my space.
(via villiljos)
One of the worst things about riding public transport: having strange men pressed up against you because they think they need an entire goddamn country for their dangles.
STOP TOUCHING ME.
(via thedeeface)
GOD SERIOUSLY IT’S SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING
also, number of times I’ve gotten my ass groped on a Rutgers bus this year: 3. the fuck.
(via khaleesi)
(via anotherfeminist)
538“ There are tons of people– male people, even!– who don’t have sex. […] I know this is bizarre to all those “90% of men masturbate and 10% of men are lying” people out there, the “men evolved to be promiscuous” people, the “men naturally have high sex drives” people. But men – people – are different. If you don’t want to have sex, you shouldn’t have sex. That doesn’t make you prudish or uncool, broken or sick, sad or pathetic or wrong. It makes you someone who’s making the right life choice for you at that very moment. ”
Tim Gunn Hasn’t Had Sex In 29 Years, And It’s None Of Our Fucking Business | No, Seriously, What About Teh Menz? (via sexisnottheenemy)
(via sexisnottheenemy)
2428
Men are feminists as well. This is a great poster!
Yay male feminists:)
This is fantastic!
I appreciate the intent here, but please don’t make feminism about you. It’s not about you. It never has been about you and never should be.
(Source: fieldsongs, via historicalslut)
3771Ways Gender-Privileged Men Can Challenge Sexism
(This list will be forever in-progress. Please add on as you see fit).
- Challenge sexist jokes, such as dumb blonde jokes or jokes about rape.
- Avoid using words such as “bitch”, “hoe”, “slut.”
- Recognize when you “zone out” when women are speaking, when you value a man’s opinion more than a woman’s, or when you ask a man for information or advice rather than a woman.
- Recognize times when you “zone out” when a woman is speaking because you are sexualizing her.
- In group efforts, take on tasks such as photocopying, note taking, making phone calls, or providing childcare, which are usually given to women; encourage women to take on male-dominated tasks such as leading meetings, or acting as a spokesperson.
- Use gender-neutral language (ex. Firefighter, chairperson).
- Do not tell a woman how she should understand, express, or conceptualize experiences of discrimination and sexism.
- If a woman is offended by your actions or words, do not use tone arguments. If she does not accept your apology, recognize that she does not owe you anything.
- Check in regularly with your intimate partner(s) to make sure they feel comfortable, fulfilled and empowered by your intimacy.
- Do not make sexist jokes about how your partner (or any woman) drags you to go see chick flicks, forces you to go shopping, has you whipped, or is irritable because she is menstruating. Challenge others when they make these jokes. Avoid playing the role of the long-suffering man who has to hold a woman’s shopping bags and put up with her frivolities and vanity.
- Be polite, thoughtful, and considerate to women because they are individuals who deserve respect, not because you’re a “gentleman” or because of chauvinistic ideals.
- When a woman is completing a task, refrain from stepping in and telling her or showing her “the best way to do that.” Of course, if she asks for your advice or requires help, feel free to do so. But recognize that women are just as competent and capable as you.
- Apologize if you realize you may have offended someone, whether they mention it or not. Do not say: “If that offended you then I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” Instead, frankly tell them: “I’m sorry I did that and I recognize it wasn’t okay. I’ll try harder next time.”
- Do not use expressions such as “grow a pair”, “be a man”, “man up”, or “stop being a bitch.”
- Reject forms of media and entertainment that promote sexism. Don’t excuse sexism and discrimination just because “it’s a really good movie.”
- Recognize that just because you are a feminist or work to challenge sexism does not mean you lose gender privilege.
- Do not be offended if you offer to help a woman and she rejects your help. Although you may genuinely have meant to be a good citizen by offering to help lift heavy objects or holding open a door, accept that the woman does not need your help, and that this does not make her a “bitch.”
- Recognize that while some women do hate men and do discriminate against men, that this sort of discrimination occurs in isolation, while sexism against women is backed by centuries of literature, scientific discourse, power/knowledge, philosophy, media representations, “common sense” discourse, etc.
- Realize that representations of women that you might find positive or fair might not be empowering to women. Notice that the vast majority of “positive” female characters or depictions in the media are highly sexualized to appeal to a male audience.
- Understand that much of what you’ve been taught to take for granted (that you are allowed to have an opinion and to voice it; that you can take up all the space you need; that you can become whoever you want; that you can pursue any career or dream you like) is often painfully untrue for women.
- When anyone tells you to stop, or says “no”, or does not actively give consent during any sort of physical contact or intimacy, immediately stop what you are doing. Do not sulk. Do not interrogate if the person is unwilling to explain. Do not complain or make them feel as though their choice to decide what sort of intimacy they want is not an empowered, safe choice.
- Do not make explanations such as “I didn’t mean anything by it”, “It was a joke, you’re just sensitive”, or “I’m not sexist, I have a lot of female friends.” If you have offended someone, listen carefully and learn from the experience.
- Do not police women’s bodies by deciding that “women shouldn’t plaster their faces with makeup”, or that “women should stop dressing like sluts to please men.”
Thank you to everyone who has been reblogging and adding to this discussion. I recognize that this list is certainly simplistic in that it arguably supports a gender binary, and that it glosses over issues of race, class, sexual orientation, age, and so on. I felt this list wasn’t a sufficient place to properly address those issues, but as many of you have mentioned many of these actions can also be taken by allies looking to challenge racism, homophobia, etc.
I’d also like to address accusations that this list is an attempt to belittle men or to discriminate against men. This couldn’t be further from the truth. This list began and was expanded on during working groups I’ve led and participated in while researching for my thesis paper. My goal is to highlight and deconstruct the ways in which patriarchal society damages and harms men. I take a position that favors coalition across borders, because I believe that we cannot begin to properly tackle patriarchy until there is an alliance between people of all genders. During these working groups, many of the men commented that they believe in equal pay, they welcome women in their classrooms, they abhor the idea of raping or harassing anyone, and they truly see women as equals. However, when it comes to their everyday lives, they still find sexism slipping in, usually in very subtle ways. A large part of our work was having conversations with men, and finding concrete, realistic ways men could challenge the patriarchal ideals they’ve been taught. I’ll repeat again that these actions are not exclusively reserved to men—they apply to people of all genders. However, the specific purpose of this list is to help men challenge sexism, because I cannot count the times a man has told me, in a very defeated tone, that this work feels overwhelming.
I understand that some men feel this list shames them for being men. However, I want to repeat that this has never been my intention, and will never be. I understand that being called out for the privilege you experience in a society that favors, prefers, and upholds masculinity can be an uncomfortable experience. However, I would invite you to try to consider how uncomfortable it must feel to wake up every day and know that you will experience at least one of the moments of sexism on this list. And to feel as though there is nothing you can do about it. I believe 100% in gender equality. However, if we want to even begin to work towards this goal, we need to work on the inequalities that exist in our own lives and beyond our lives. We need privileged people in society—white people, straight people, men, etc.—to stand up, to acknowledge their privilege, and to stand with us as allies. Thank you to everyone committed to doing this work.
(via thenewwomensmovement)
4401“ I don’t care what you’re doing or how old you are or who it’s with, if a girl says “no”, it means “no” and you need to stop. I don’t care if she’s young or if she’s drunk or if you love each other or if you’re married, or if she said yes before, or if you feel like you can’t stop, or if you don’t want to stop, you have to stop. Right away. Do you understand me? ”
My mom, to my younger brother. (via rose-colored-sunglasses)
This is DEFINITELY something that should be included in the sex talk and in sex education.
(via fuckyeahsexeducation)
Same with if a boy says no!
But really, my kids are going to get the most comprehensive sex talk ever.
(via loveasaradicalact)
Basically what I’ll be teaching my children (if I do ever decide to foster/adopt).
(via inherhipstheresrevolutions)
(Source: desiderates, via inherhipstheresrevolutions)
2738Ten Responses to the Phrase “Man Up” from an amazing slam poet.
6206Oklahoma Senator Proposes Making It Illegal For Men To Ejaculate Except Into A Woman’s Sexual Organs
Life imitating art aka Legally Blonde:
Don’t worry, she’s joking. But she’s joking to make a really good point.
The controversial Senate Bill 1433, which is one of the “personhood laws” cropping up in conservative states is seeking to define life as begining at conception, and that “the unborn child at every stage of development (has) all the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of this state.”
That makes it really hard to get an abortion.
Perhaps inspired by the Virgina State senator who proposed a mandatory rectal exam for men looking to recieve erectile dysfunction drugs, if women had to have an ultrasound to receive an abortion, Oklahoma Senator Constance Johnson– our new hero – added an “Every Sperm Is Sacred” amendment claiming that:
Any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.
High five, lady.
all the awards
