A woman is asked why she only does films about women. But men are never asked why they only do films about men. ”
Margaretha Von Tratta (via nuttersandcutters)
On demande aux femmes pourquoi elles ne font que des films à propos des femmes. Mais on ne demande pas aux hommes pourquoi ils ne font que des films sur les hommes.
Young women are having difficulty accessing tubal ligation, despite it being a relatively safe (death rate is 1-2 per 100,000) and elective surgery.
There is a waiting period of 30 days for women seeking tubal ligation, yet no waiting period for men seeking vasectomies.
Young women are often discriminated against when seeking sterilization. Many doctors ask offensive questions (“What if you met a billionaire who wanted to have kids with you?”), state categorically that their patients are too young to consider the surgery, and generally act as though, as one woman who tried unsuccessfully to be sterilized at the age of 21 in the U.K. put it, ”just because I was a woman, I’d reach a point where an urge to breed would overcome all rational thought.” (Perhaps unsurprisingly, that woman’s 25-year-old husband faced no such presumptions when he asked his doctor for a vasectomy. The procedure was quickly approved.)
Say that at 18 I slap down enough money so I could have my whole body covered head-to-toe in tattoos, piercings all over myself, a mountain of cigarettes, plastic surgery, and plan to have like 20 babies… but if I try at all to safely make it impossible for me to breed for the sake of my health suddenly its like WOAH THERE SLOW DOWN MISSY YOU’RE NOT READY FOR THIS KIND OF COMMITMENT YET
I have stage III Endometriosis, which means I have to get my uterus removed because I literally have terrible cramps ALL THE TIME and not just when I’m on my period. Now, I’ve always said I don’t want any children for personal reasons and I don’t need my uterus, really. I am not worried about that surgery and I don’t feel any kind of nostalgia over an organ I won’t ever use.
The thing is, my doctor is a ‘man’. This ‘man’ told me I had to get pregnant right now before it’s too late. I told him I didn’t want to get pregnant and explained the multiple reasons but what, do you ask, did my doctor have to say about this? 'Well, better have a kid now because just imagine how depressing it must be being a thirty-something woman without children and a husband?'
I was diagnosed a year ago. I should have gone through surgery six months ago and I still can’t find a doctor that will perform the surgery without trying to force me to have children first. Basically, if you’re a woman you don’t have a say in what can and cannot be done to your body without a shitload of people getting in the way AND I’M FUCKING SICK OF IT.
Women are getting non-consensually sterilized in prison but no doctors in my area while tie my tubes at 24 because I might regret it? Fuck you, doctors. I have more purpose in life than dropping babies. Some of those women in prison are probably great moms and I have no interest in parenting. Let us have a say!
A dear friend of mine wanted to have her tubes tied. She was about to give birth to twins and the doctors wouldn’t consent because she wasn’t 21 yet. She had already had children and they still refused to let her have the procedure.
My friend got a vasectomy a week after asking his doctor for one, no problem. He was 25.
Me? I’ve asked 4 different doctors for some kind of permanent sterilisation—tubal ligation or Essure or whatever—and I get a pat on the head and a “You’d regret it if you did.”
Oh, DIDN’T REALIZE YOU HAD A DIRECT LINE TO MY BRAIN.
On the flip side, as a vagina-having person who had her tubes tied at the age of 26 (after having 4 children, however):
MY HUSBAND HAD TO SIGN A CONSENT FORM IN ORDER FOR ME TO HAVE THE PROCEDURE DONE.
How many times have we heard stories about husbands having vasectomies behind their wives backs and never telling them, letting those wives wallow in guilt and misery, thinking it’s their fault that they can’t get pregnant?
And yet I had had to get my husband’s permission to have my tubes tied.
(Obviously this was a decision we’d talked about extensively beforehand, so it’s not like he was about to say no, but we both couldn’t believe the fucking audacity of the hospital, asking HIS permission for ME to do something with MY body. In fact, he said as much to the nurse that brought in the forms.)
This is fucked up. Your body is no one’s business but your own. Even if there’s no law against young sterilization, women still suffer just from societal expectations, which influence doctors who are unable to be objective. People think they’re being caring but are actually just afraid of anything that goes outside of their preconceived notions of what people should do with their lives.
I knew it was apparently really hard to get your tubes tied but I’d never thought it was that easy for men to have vasectomies. My best friend wants to have her tubes tied so we looked into it only to find that it would be like pulling teeth with tweezers at her age.
And how hard is it to land even a minimum-wage job? This year, the Ivy League college admissions acceptance rate was 8.9%. Last year, when Walmart opened its first store in Washington, D.C., there were more than 23,000 applications for 600 jobs, which resulted in an acceptance rate of 2.6%, making the big box store about twice as selective as Harvard and five times as choosy as Cornell. Telling unemployed people to get off their couches (or out of the cars they live in or the shelters where they sleep) and get a job makes as much sense as telling them to go study at Harvard. ”
"Why Don’t the Unemployed Get Off Their Couches?" and Eight Other Critical Questions for Americans (via seriouslyamerica)
found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom
repeat after me:
- virginity is a social construct
- you don’t lose your virginity
- there’s nothing valuable or precious about virginity, it’s an imaginary concept
- virginity is inherently heterocentric
- your worth is not defined by whether or not you’ve had a dick inside you
- what you define as sex is up to you, you get to decide how many people you’ve had sex with
- the end
(Source: imreallybad, via sillysocialisthippie)
7 Things I Wish Parents Would Stop Teaching Their Children:
- That nudity is inherently sexual
- That people should be judged for their personal decisions
- That yelling solves problems
- That they are too young to be talking about the things they’re already starting to ask questions about
- That age correlates to importance
- That interacting with someone of the opposite sex is inherently romantic
- That the default for someone is straight and cisgender
It’s a free country, but: I need a license to drive, a license to work, a permit to protest, a permit to make changes to my own house, a license to get married, I can’t grow vegetables in my front yard, I can’t buy raw milk, I can’t fly without being searched and molested, I can be arrested for taking video of the police, I can go to jail for handing out fliers or for wearing a hat in court, I can have everything I own taken from me just on the accusation that I have drugs in my house, and I can be targeted for assassination if I disagree with the government. I don’t call this “freedom”. Am I missing something? ”
- Eris Pandora (via liberationfrequency)
Very true. Sad.
Celebrating 40 Years of Disabled Lesbian Activism and Art
Image description: Five photos of disabled lesbians. #1: Color photo of people in a park, some of them holding a giant banner that reads “Honoring Dykes with Disabilities.” #2: Two women playing basketball in wheelchairs. #3: a black woman with glasses and natural hair playing ping pong. #4: Two light-skinned women dancing with AXIS, a physically integrated dance group. One woman in a wheelchair, and the other woman is…it’s hard to describe, but she’s upside-down, with her legs in the air, and her head in the woman’s lap, simulating oral sex.
These images come from Fabled/Asp, an organization that aims to “combine storytelling and filmmaking to document and continue the revolution in queer disability arts, aesthetics, politics and culture.” They’re such a great resource for history, culture, and politics of disabled lesbians.
What a wonderful resource!
Mission log: Day 194. I just don’t know how to do it.
if yr sick of our entire culture taking cheap shots at young girls, raise yr
store || art blog || commission info
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Sometimes you’ve got to be able to listen to yourself and be okay with no one else understanding. ”
Christopher Barzak (via purplebuddhaproject)
Give it up for my writing professor everyone! I love when he crosses my dash.